The Two Best UK Festivals Are These.

It's the "logging on like something demented and hoping against hope that you'll get through and be able to part with almost £200 for a ticket to one of the BIG festivals" season. I've done that a few times, each year wondering just how many times above inflation that the ticket price will increase. I remember V96 and paying around £20 for a day ticket to see Cast, Pulp, Gary Numan, Elastica and Supergrass - which was excellent value for money! But now ten times that to see The Killers year after year.

I feel that corporate greed has taken over and quashed the festival atmosphere; the last time I went to V, paying £180 and then a £10 to park as soon as I'd got through the gates, everywhere I walked I could almost feel the cash being sucked out of my wallet by some massive money extraction device. The music has become a side show to what is the mass milking of 100,000 wage packets. Four quid for a paper cup of tea is not unusual and a miserable carpet burger for over £6 - you've got to be joking!

But!! The moaning ends here, there are alternatives. Four years ago I attended my first Acoustic Festival of Great Britain, now held at Uttoxeter race course and still under £100 for a massive range of artists.

On my trips to this chilled out, uncommercialised festival I've seen Hayseed Dixie, Cerys Matthews, Steve Harley, Imelda May, The Christians, Mungo Jerry, Donovan, Kate Rusby, The Quireboys, Fairport Convention and much more. There's real ale at a real price, home made, flavoursome food, car parking next to your tent, clean toilets and hot showers - all included.

It's at the end of May and if you love your music, I can't recommend this one enough. There's no packs of ecstasy and Carling fuelled lads making a nuisance of themselves, no quagmire queue for the fouls stench of the WCs.

So you've saved a hundred pounds on a V festical ticket, now what the heck are you going to do with that? Well a ticket to Kendal Calling at the end of July would be a very sensible investment, I feel.

This is another smaller festival, and as well as great music of all genres, there's not a dodgy burger bar to be seen, or a sense of being ripped off. Real ale, proper cider, Tibetan food, nachos to die for and another friendly atmosphere where the artists mingle with the crowds before and after their spots on one of the numerous themed stages.

You'll have to put a tenner to the ton you saved by going to the acoustif festival instead of a V or a Reading and Leeds, but it'll be worth it. This year there's Dizzie Rascal, James, Inspiral Carpets, Maximo Park, Feeder - all in a more intimate and convivial environment that you'd think possible. Even the bars create a buzz, last year's Sailor Jerry's Airstream bar, belted out great tunes and cold drinks to the revellers.

So that's my opinion - maybe I'm getting old, but I'd definitely rather go for my two for the price of one deal than walk miles in the mud being fleeced at every step at one of the big corporate festivals.

Am I right? Let me know.

Nautical Ink - What's Behind My Tattoos?

My latest addition to a growing tattoo collection is a mermaid, an ample bosomed pin up with an iridescent green tail, and majestic fin. She sits on some wave soaked rocks, under the gaze of Penmon Point lighthouse, swaddled in the Nick Cave lyric "Come sail your ships around me and burn your bridges down." She's a siren in the traditional sense, alluringly running her fingers through auburn locks and gazing into the eyes of the enchanted.

She's in good company - further up the arm, there's a sailor girl pin up, an anchor, swallow, ship's wheel and a Sailor Jerry inspired tall ship continuing the maritime theme. Ultimately she'll be joined by a turtle, an octopus and if there's room even more.

But why the nautical doodling, I'm not a sailor, my descendants weren't naval or even merchant seamen. Today, thanks largely to shows like LA Ink, it seems you have to have a sentimental reason for a tattoo design - a deceased relative or friend, overcoming some personal challenge of leviathan (you see I got another sea monster in there) proportions! My reason is that I like the art, the tradition is interesting and the symbolism - did you know that a turtle tattoo symbolises that the wearer has crossed the equator? It does, and I have, so even if it's not a 'reason', I'm entitled to wear it with pride.

I've always loved being by the sea, and water in general but that really has no bearing on my tattoo choice. I could claim England's long history of seafaring, exploration and empire building, but my ancestry is Irish so it's not really that.

I'm not trying to belittle people's serious and memorial justifications for choosing tattoos, as I believe that the ritual of being tattooed is a powerful one and a spiritual one too, with healing properties. However I feel that many people choose some ink, purely because they like the art, (just like me) and then feel that they have to fabricate a story to back up and in some way validate its existence on their skin. Don't worry, if you did the tattoo to please yourself, that's probably the best reason there is.

The important thing is to love your ink, and don't search for a reason that isn't there. It's valid, whatever.

My Butternut Squash and Chick Pea Curry

If you love curry, but fancy something a bit lighter, then make this; it's filling and tastes fresh, you can feel it doing you good.

You need:

An onion, thinly sliced
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped

Fresh ginger about the size of your thumb, finely chopped

Butternut squash, peeled and diced into good chunks

Red pepper, sliced

A tin of chickpeas

5 tablespoons of tomato ketchup

Water

Salt and Pepper

Chilli flakes

Curry Powder

Garam masala (optional)

Small handful of fresh coriander, chopped

Juice of half a lemon.

Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in a large pan and soften the onions and garlic for about 5 minutes, add a teaspoon or two of curry powder, and if you've got it a teaspoon of garam masala. Stir into the onions, then add the ginger, squash, pepper, chickpeas, chilli flakes and ketchup.

Add enough water to almost cover, then simmer for about 30 minutes with a lid on. Remove the lid and simmer for another ten minutes or so, until the butternut squash is tender, and the sauce has reduced a little.

Squeeze in the lemon juice, sprinkle in the coriander, salt and pepper, and serve with brown rice and a warm naan bread.

You'll not be disappointed, I promise.